Friday, December 23, 2011

Chapter Twenty Two (Part 2)

(unedited)
This blog is rated M for Mature readers. I will not say that anyone cannot read this, but if you have an issue with the adult subject matter remember that you were warned. ENJOY.
(Still Adam's P.O.V.)
I sit on the couch pulling Kiara down with me, holding her tightly and kiss her intermittently. 
He father never stopped drinking, not long enough to get her back. It had been three years, she called me in tears,crying so hard I couldn't understand her. I went to her and getting there saw her gorgeous fiery red hair turned blond, her foster families latest effort to change her. I held her until she stopped crying, wiping her tears and kissing her face.
Then I carried her to the bed. That was the last time we had been together.

  Suddenly I am overcome with the memory and with desire. In one fluid motion I sweep her  up and move across the room,lifting her onto the dresser,pressing her against it.
Adam - I want you.
She seems nervous, hesitant.
Kiara - It's been so long.
Adam - To long, my love, to long.
Kiara -Yes, to long. 
I undress her before stepping away. Locking the doors I let my own clothing slip off. Wrapping an our around her I pull back to me.
She throws her head back moaning as she takes me in. I focus on her, on her pleasure. 
Kiara - Oh ,dear god,Adam.
Bodies still locked together I lift her from the dresser.
She takes control as we fall back onto the bed and it is my turn to moan.
She is beauty and perfection and I can't help but watch her, as she drives me wild.
Adam - Oh yea,oh yea,oh yea, that's it. 

Again my thought spiral back, back to that last time. We had fallen asleep in each others arms.
Adam - Did you hear something? 
Her foster parents found us together. They had never liked me and had tried in vain to come between us before but that was it for them.
Now looking down at her I can't help smiling, thinking how lucky I am to have her again. I have her back and I won't let anything or anyone take her away from me.
Adam - I can't believe they're doing this. How can they even do this? You're only their foster child, they can't send you away.
Kiara - Apparently they can because they are.
They shipped her off to some school somewhere. They didn't tell her were she was going exactly so that she couldn't tell me. So that I couldn't follow. 
Adam - No, they can't do this, I can't lose you. You're all I have. Don't go, I love you.
Kiara - I love you too. I have to, I don't have a choice.
We both cried as we held,thinking it would be the last time we would ever see each other. I'm not ashamed to admit that, I was never one to hide my emotions, I was hurt, heartbroken, so I cried. 

Kiara - We should just run off.
Adam - What?
Kiara - You laughed when I suggested it when we were younger, and I was half joking then but I really mean it this time. Lets run away together. 
Adam - Where would we go? 
Kiara - I don't know,I was renting a place before but its probably taken now, but anywhere better then here right?
Adam - No.
Kiara - No?
When I turned eighteen to my surprise my father didn't try to kick me out but I left anyways, anywhere was. I lived in a car somewhat of a friend had given me for my birthday, we weren't close,they had gotten a newer one themselves and didn't think much of it.I lived that way,out of my car, for a few yearsIt was during that time that I first started stealing, picking pockets mostly, to be able to get enough food to make it though another day. Before I would have been appalled of the idea even while realizing the necessity of it but after she left I lost all feelingI had truly meant it when I said she was all I hadI had no real friends, no family except my dad and he didn't count, and no home. Without her in my life I just didn't care anymore, about anything or anyone. I was unable to and it turned me cold and emotionless eventually to the cruel man I've become. Eventually Turner found out about me, he makes it a priority to know of all the thieves in his area, I guess he watched me for a while, he saw I was skilled, offered me a spot among his thieves.
Adam - If we left we'd have no were to go. I've lived on the streets, I can't do it again and I most certainly don't want that for you. It may not be ideal but I have everything we've wanted here. We have a roof over a heads and food everyday, things we wouldn't out there. Beds at night and a safe place were we can be together and no one will hurt us. They won't touch me, not less I fuck and do something to deserve it.
I take her face in my hands.
Adam - And you, I won't let them hurt you. And if anyone else tries to,anyone not with them, not part of all of this, they will protect you just as fiercely as I will. As I said, I know its not ideal and I don't like it but staying here really is whats best for us. 
Kiara - But...
She stops short trying to this of what she wants to say.
Kiara - And that awful woman, she knows about us and she wants to keep us apart.
Adam - Goldie?
I use the old Weston Valley nickname for Hayley, though older then her we also grew up in the town and everyone knew of the spoiled rich golden haired little... of Hayley Thomas.
Adam - She's not so bad as she seems. I'd be more upset if she didn't want us apart, as it is, shes trying to protect you.
Kiara - Protect me, from you? That's insane.
Adam - No, she only seems me as the villain,because thats what I've been to her, she knows about us but she doesn't realize who you are,she thinks I'm just toying with you. I want to tell them.
Kiara - I thought you said it was better if they didn't know.
Adam - I thought it was but she'll let us be if she knows and as for the rest of them, your foster family made you hide your past, I saw how much it hurt you and I can't do the same. 


Thursday, December 22, 2011

Chapter Twenty Two (Part 1)

(Unedited)
This chapter was so long I had to cut it .
(Adam's P.O.V.)
I told her I don't remember when my mother left, that I was maybe about two. That wasn't true. I was two and I remember very well. I remember everything,my whole life since that nightEverything that hasn't been literally beaten out of me. I have gaps from blacking out after being hit but that night isn't one of themI had never seen it before that night, she wasn't wearing make-up to hide it and I saw the bruises as she picked me out of my crib.
Linda - I love you so much.
Whispering so he wouldn't hear her she held me close to her, silent tears running down her cheeks.
 Linda - I wish things were different. I'll come back for you... someday, my sweet boy.
I reached for her as she put me back. I wanted to cry out, but even then I knew not to. Even then I was smart enough to know she was leaving and to be afraid of what he would do if he caught her. I don't resent her for leaving. I only wish she had taken me with her. I know she wanted to, I could see it, but for what ever reason she couldn't. She said she'd come back for me, but she never did. I waited for years before realizing it wasn't going to happen, I wasn't going to see her. I don't know why she never came back, I tried to tell my self that it wasn't what I most feared, that he had found her,done something to her. 
Adam - I'm hungry.
John - You know where the kitchen is. You expect me to do everything for you?
Adam - You don't do anything for me.
John - DON'T TALK BACK TO ME! You don't know how lucky you areI pay for your food, your school, keep a roof over your head. Now go do your homework.
Adam - B-b-but I already did it.
John - I JUST TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK BACK TO ME, YOU LITTLE BASTARD. 
Then he hit me again.
John - I wish you'd just disappear ,like your good for nothing mother. The whore, probably not even mine, sure as fuck don't look like me.
I thought about that for a while, I don't think that way about my mother, but still I wanted to believe the possibility that I wasn't his
I started volunteering at the hospital once I was old enough, anything to keep me out of the house, away from him. I was about to leave one day when one of the doctors told me he wanted to go talk to this girl down in pediatrics, he suspected abuse and thought she'd be more likely to open up to someone closer to her own age. I still wonder if he knew about my own situationIf he did, he never said so. Never did anything about it.
That was the day I met Kiara. 
A voice rouses me from my musings of the past.
"What are you thinking about?"
Adam - You.
Crossing the room I pull her into my arms.
Adam -  Always you, my Kiara.The day we met, actually.
Kiara - You remember that? 
Adam - You know I remember everything. Especially when it comes to you. 
I still don't know how I feel about her being here. I love her, love seeing her and holding her again, but then I see that thing on her neck. I can't stand keeping things from her but even she wouldn't forgive the things I've done. I don't want her to know how I've changed, what I've become, but I can't change who I am. Even if I could I'll never be who I used toYet, since her being here I know I'm already no longer as I've been either. I raise my hand and run a finger across her collar.
Adam - I hate this. I don't want this for you.
Kiara - Neither do I but at least we're together again.
Adam - You wouldn't go if you had the choice?
Kiara - Would you want me to?
Not knowing how to answer I change the subject.
Adam - Do you remember that evening, in the gazebo, back in Weston Valley? When we first got together?
Kiara - My fourteenth birthday.
Adam - I'm glad your here.
Kiara - I snuck off from the party. I wish you could have been there, but... you know how my dad is.
Adam - He wasn't drinking ?
Kiara - No. He doesn't drink when people are around. Why'd you want me to meet you here?
Adam - I wanted to see you, I like your dress, you look...
Kiara - Please don't say cute, I've had enough of everyone telling me how cute and adorable I look today.
Adam - I was going to say beautiful. You're beautiful Kiara.
Kiara - What?
Adam - I like you Kiara.
Kiara - What, what do you mean.You like me? I don't understand.
 Adam This.
I pull Kiara close and kiss her as I remember that first time.
Adam - I still can't believe it's you! I thought I'd never see you again.
Kiara- I knew I'd find you someday, and I swore that when I did I wouldn't let anything come between us  ever again.
Adam - Turn around.
I massage her back and shoulders gently. I can only imagine how hard all of this is for her, shes always been a neat person but she never had to do this much. Not while I knew her. At least cleaning is all she's made to do.
I just want to hold her and protect her. I always have,even though in the past she had it better then me, and never hesitated to tell me so. That though, similar our situations were not the same, and I was the one who had it the worst. 
I saw that for my self one night. We had been out together and I walked her home. Her father appeared by the door as we kissed goodbye.
I was about to leave when I stopped, the bottle in his hand catching my sight. He raised it to take a drink as she ran to him. I wanted to stop her,to protect her but I was frozen.
I wasn't able to hear what they said as the talked for a moment.
The sound of flesh against flesh made me wince as he smacked her. She had told me, so I knew when I saw the bottle,I wasn't surprised, but still I had never seen it. He didn't drink in front of people,didn't hit her in front of people. He had started drinking after her mom died when she was ten,other then when she had had a broken arm when we met she'd said he'd only ever slapped her and always only once. His face softened as she held a hand to her cheek and he said something else. What surprised me was what came next.
He hugged her. That was the biggest difference between our fathers, he loved her. I spite of everything, he loved her.
She was taken from him within a week. The court ordered her father into rehab for his drinking and she was placed in a foster home. Her foster family seemed nice enough, they had money and gave her her own big room and new clothes and transferred her from Weston High to Weston Prep. Looking back though I realize the abused her too, not physically, be emotionally, physiologically, they tried to take away her past. 
 We would lay on the couch in her room, Kiara curled up to me, her head resting on my chest. She was always so miserable with them. It made me feel guilty.  I thought that she'd be with nice people and he would get help and would stop drinking and get her back and they would be happy and no one would ever hurt her again. But that's not how it happenedShe didn't know and still doesn't, that it was my fault

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Chapter Twenty One

"Laura" -  It's most likely going to be any day now. I think since this is you're first and you have opted for a home birth it would be best to have you on bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy.
I hear her tell Turner the same and to make sure I actually listen

Turner stays with me gently rubbing my stomach as I lay in bed for most of the next few days.

I make the bed, yet another things I still do so that she doesn't have to, and feel a sharp pain.
Me - Turner, Turner wake up.Get Laura.
"Laura" - Okay lay back and let me see. 
She turns to Turner and that act of nervousness comes back again as she struggles with what shes trying to say. I think she's afraid of offending him, smart. I say it for her.
Me - Get back and stay out of the way.
She nods slowly. 
"Laura" - Do you want anything for the pain or are you going to chose to have a natural birth? 
Me - I, I don't know.
"Laura" -You need to chose quickly, once you progress to a certain point an epidermal or anything will no longer be an option. 
Me - I can't think right now, just do whatever you find best.
I can't believe what I'm saying, but I'm really not thinking straight. I lay back breathing though the pains for a while only half aware of whats going on around me
 "Laura" looks again.
 "Laura" - Alright. It's time. You need to push. 
I hold myself up on my arms pushing.
"Laura" - Now lay back again. You need to rest between pushes. Breath steadily. 
"Laura" - And push.
Turner comes over and sits by me. Laura starts to say something, but stops short when he looks at her.
I throw my head back, screaming and grab Turner's hand. He doesn't make a sound and tries to hide it but I see him wince form the tightness of my grasp as I squeeze his hand.
I lay back again, breathing.
"Laura"- Almost there, just one more push.
She looks to Turner.
"Laura" - Do you have anything to use for a swaddling cloth and...
I wonder how much of her being nervous and shy is an act, I know its not all fake but it doesn't always seem genuine either, though more so when talking to him then me. Again I speak for her though the pain.
Me - And get it for her.
I feel him get up hesitantly, not wanting to leave my side.
"Laura" - And something to cut the cord.
I give one last big push as instructed. Laura may not like me, but she's a nurse first and she's not letting her personal opinion of me get in the way of that. 
"Laura" -  It's a girl.
A girl. I have a daughter. 
Turner and I wait as Laura cleans her up and brings her back wrapped in the piece of cloth Turner had found to use as a swaddling blanket.
Laura hands my daughter to me and I hold her up trying to figure out if I can see any of Turner in her, or anyone else. I can tell she gets her skin color from me. At least I hope its from me... Turner and Shawn are both darker. God how I hope it's from me.
Turner informed the others fairly quickly that we have a girl and a beautiful nursery was set up in no time.
They also were able to get a nice warm onesie and an actual swaddling blanket.
I hold her as I sit in the comfy arm chair and Turner stand as we start to talk names. We're having trouble find one we both like sadly.
Turner - Virginia? 
Me- NO! No, no, defiantly not. No.
He looks at me strangely.
Me - Virginia is my mother's name.
Turner -  Oh. Okay then, not Virginia. What about... hmm.
Me - What about, Natalie?
He smiles.
Turner - Natalie? Natalie, I like it.
I look down at our little girl.
Me - What do you think of that, Natalie?
She makes a cute little cooing sound.