Chapter Twenty Three (End of Season One)

(unedited)

This blog is rated M for Mature readers. I will not say that anyone cannot read this, but if you have an issue with the somewhat adult subject matter remember that you were warned.

ENJOY

I had gotten accepted to law school before but because of my pregnancy I'd had to put my career goals on hold and now that Natalie is old enough I'm registering for classes.

My little fluffy puppy is there to great me when I get home so I play with him for a little bit and its getting dark by the time I head inside.

Again I end up hiding against the wall, as I come in. I can't help thinking that he needs to learn to close the door. He runs his hand along the chain hanging from her neck.

Adam - At least this one should be more comfortable.

"Laura" - Why did you do this?

Adam - For you.

"Laura" - But why? You know they won't like it. You said they wouldn't touch you unless you did something to deserve it, what if, to them, this is something that deserves it?

Adam - I don't care. I know you hate it here, I just want to make you as happy as possible.

"Laura" -  I am happy Adam, you make me happy, just by being back in my life but I, I just don't want to see you hurt, especially if it's because of me. 

Back in her life? What does she mean back in her life?

Adam - Just don't worry about it.

"Laura" - Adam...

Adam - We might as well get this out of the way, then we can tell them and we won't have to hide.

 He gently strokes her face as he speaks. Was I wrong? As impossible as it seems does he actually care about her? No, there has to be more to this.

"Laura" - Let me tell Goldie, from what you've told me it seems like she probably wouldn't believe you.

I move into the room.  

Me - What did you just call me?

They both get up and he quickly moves to put himself between us. It's almost as if he's protecting her.

"Laura" - Hey, I was just about to come find you.

He ignores me.

Adam - Are you sure? I don't want to leave you alone with her. 

"Laura" - I'll be okay.

Adam - Alright my dear, I'll leave you to be. I'll see you later beautiful.

He softly kisses her cheek before finally turning to me.

Adam - I know you think I'm just toying with her, but you're wrong, you're wrong.

He walks out of the room and she sits down on the couch.

"Laura" - So, Goldie...

Me - Don't call me that. You don't even know...

She cuts me off.

"Laura" - Oh yes I do.  It's what I've always called you.You didn't know I was from Weston Valley too, did you?

 Me - Don't call me Goldie. Why is it you seemed so shy when I met you, and seem so nervous around some of the others but not with me.

"Laura" - I can be shy around people I don't know. I know you and more I know I don't like you.

Me - Why? Because I don't want you with Adam? Believe it or not that's a good thing, I'm trying to help you. You need to stay away from him before you end up getting hurt.

"Laura" - Oh, trust me, he'd never hurt me. You just don't know him like I do.

Me - And you don't know him like I  do, because despite what you may think, you don't know him at all, not the real him. 

 "Laura" - God Goldie, you really haven't figured it out yet, have you? 

Me - No, I guess I haven't. Why won't you listen, how can you not see though him, you were a nurse, you should be smarter then this.

 "Laura" - The man you saw just now, the one he is when he's with me, that's the real him. 

Me -  I am really just trying to help you,to protect you, wither you believe it or not. 

"Laura" -  You really just don't get it, when I said that you haven't figured it out yet I wasn't talking about why I won't listen. No one needs to protect me. As a matter of fact, I've been trying to get him to see that.

Me - You think he'd protect you?

"Laura" - Well He always has. He loves me. I'm Kiara.

I stare at her blankly and she smiles.Of course. I feel stupid for not seeing it before.

Kiara - I know he told you about me. Do you not believe me or something? Now that you know, will you please just leave us alone and let us be together? 

Me - He's not the same person he was before he lost you. I you realize that? We're told we can't change people and he told me he believes we can't change ourselves, so how does anyone change at all?

Kiara - We can change ourselves but only with the help of others and we change others but only if they want to change. 

Me - You think he wants to change?

Kiara -. My absence from his life is what changed him and made him who he is now, my presence will change him back, and already is. I know he's not the same sweet boy I met when I was twelve, but he's not this awful villain either. Anyways, he's  down there telling the others about us so I guess I might as well head down there.

I come down the stares behind her. The second her feet leave the steps she practically files into his arms and I watch as his face lights up.

I can see the love in his eyes, and wonder how I missed it ever other time I've seen them together. 

After that I head into the nursery . I scoop Natalie up off the floor and hold her close.

Me - There my baby girl. Mommy loves you. I still can't get over how fast you're growing.

I pull away and look at her, both of us smiling brightly.

With her big green eyes and black hair there is no question she's Turner's daughter.

It's getting late so I put her to bed before heading that way myself.

~*~

Now that I will be starting law school one of the upstairs rooms has been set up for me to use as an office or study. The men got me some paintings to decorate the walls. They're all from the same artist, a collection that was being being displayed locally.

The one directly above my computer is my favorite.

Across from that, behind me, is a playpen for Natalie.

I'm on my computer with Natalie playing behind me when Adam walks in.

I grab the bottle that has been cooling on my desk and give it to her before turning my attention to him.

Me - What do you want?

Adam - I wanted to talk to you.

Adam - More importantly, I wanted to talk to you alone.

Me - You and I alone.

Me - Now why is that a bad idea.

Adam - Do you think I'm stupid? The only way I would ever touch you or try to hurt you again is if I lose her because you. If that happened I wouldn't care if does kill me. And that's what I wanted to talk to you about, if you'll listen.

Adam - I wanted to ask, to beg if I have to, that you not tell Kiara what I did to you. Even as much as she loves me I know she could never get past, that I would lose her if she ever found out. And I can't lose her again, I just can't.

Adam - Please.

There is so much emotion in his voice, and in his face, love; for her, sadness, fear; of losing her, a part of me wants to give in to his pleading right now, but I'm waiting for something.

Adam - I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I really am, and not only for...that for...

He seemed to be trying to force himself to say it, his voice dropped to a whisper

Adam - for raping you, not only for that but for everything, every time I hit you, or even threatened to, every time I said something I shouldn't have, all of the things I've called you, I'm sorry. That's not me, I don't want to be that person anymore, that monster. I'm trying to change, I have changed, I wasn't myself then, not the real me, the real me went out of my way to help people, I never wanted to hurt anyone. I know it's not an excuse,I still believe that, I'm not trying to use it as one. I don't expect you to forgive me, I know you never could and thats not what I'm asking, just that you don't say anything. Please! 

I just stand here, listening to him as he says all this, and stare at him, soaking it in. He means it too, I he believes every word he's saying. He's right, that he has changed, the man standing before me, pleading with me and apologizing to me is a very different person then the one who did the things he's apologizing for. 

Me - Alright. I won't say anything. And while you're right, that I can't ever forgive you for that, I do believe you that you're sorry, and I accept it, and not all at once, but maybe, eventually, I could forgive you for the other things.

Adam - Thank you. Again not just for this. Mostly thank for her, I know you didn't know it at the time but still you brought her back to me, and I can no more repay that then I could ever make up for the things I've done. Thank you, Hayley.

He turned starting to leave the room.

Me - I won't tell her anything,but...

Adam - But?

Me - I can't speak for Layla.

He lowers his head putting his hands in his hair.

Adam - Shit...Layla.

He turns back.

Adam - What am I going to do?


Author's Note:
Well thats it for now. Hope you all come back for season two :D

Chapter Twenty Two (Part 2)

(unedited)

This blog is rated M for Mature readers. I will not say that anyone cannot read this, but if you have an issue with the adult subject matter remember that you were warned. ENJOY.

(Still Adam's P.O.V.)

I sit on the couch pulling Kiara down with me, holding her tightly and kiss her intermittently. 

He father never stopped drinking, not long enough to get her back. It had been three years, she called me in tears,crying so hard I couldn't understand her. I went to her and getting there saw her gorgeous fiery red hair turned blond, her foster families latest effort to change her. I held her until she stopped crying, wiping her tears and kissing her face.

Then I carried her to the bed. That was the last time we had been together.

  Suddenly I am overcome with the memory and with desire. In one fluid motion I sweep her  up and move across the room,lifting her onto the dresser,pressing her against it.

Adam - I want you.

She seems nervous, hesitant.

Kiara - It's been so long.

Adam - To long, my love, to long.

Kiara -Yes, to long. 

I undress her before stepping away. Locking the doors I let my own clothing slip off. Wrapping an our around her I pull back to me.

She throws her head back moaning as she takes me in. I focus on her, on her pleasure. 

Kiara - Oh ,dear god,Adam.

Bodies still locked together I lift her from the dresser.

She takes control as we fall back onto the bed and it is my turn to moan.

She is beauty and perfection and I can't help but watch her, as she drives me wild.

Adam - Oh yea,oh yea,oh yea, that's it. 

Again my thought spiral back, back to that last time. We had fallen asleep in each others arms.

Adam - Did you hear something? 

Her foster parents found us together. They had never liked me and had tried in vain to come between us before but that was it for them.

Now looking down at her I can't help smiling, thinking how lucky I am to have her again. I have her back and I won't let anything or anyone take her away from me.

Adam - I can't believe they're doing this. How can they even do this? You're only their foster child, they can't send you away.

Kiara - Apparently they can because they are.

They shipped her off to some school somewhere. They didn't tell her were she was going exactly so that she couldn't tell me. So that I couldn't follow. 

Adam - No, they can't do this, I can't lose you. You're all I have. Don't go, I love you.

Kiara - I love you too. I have to, I don't have a choice.

We both cried as we held,thinking it would be the last time we would ever see each other. I'm not ashamed to admit that, I was never one to hide my emotions, I was hurt, heartbroken, so I cried. 

Kiara - We should just run off.

Adam - What?

Kiara - You laughed when I suggested it when we were younger, and I was half joking then but I really mean it this time. Lets run away together. 

Adam - Where would we go? 

Kiara - I don't know,I was renting a place before but its probably taken now, but anywhere better then here right?

Adam - No.

Kiara - No?

When I turned eighteen to my surprise my father didn't try to kick me out but I left anyways, anywhere was. I lived in a car somewhat of a friend had given me for my birthday, we weren't close,they had gotten a newer one themselves and didn't think much of it.I lived that way,out of my car, for a few years. It was during that time that I first started stealing, picking pockets mostly, to be able to get enough food to make it though another day. Before I would have been appalled of the idea even while realizing the necessity of it but after she left I lost all feeling. I had truly meant it when I said she was all I had. I had no real friends, no family except my dad and he didn't count, and no home. Without her in my life I just didn't care anymore, about anything or anyone. I was unable to and it turned me cold and emotionless eventually to the cruel man I've become. Eventually Turner found out about me, he makes it a priority to know of all the thieves in his area, I guess he watched me for a while, he saw I was skilled, offered me a spot among his thieves.

Adam - If we left we'd have no were to go. I've lived on the streets, I can't do it again and I most certainly don't want that for you. It may not be ideal but I have everything we've wanted here. We have a roof over a heads and food everyday, things we wouldn't out there. Beds at night and a safe place were we can be together and no one will hurt us. They won't touch me, not less I fuck and do something to deserve it.

I take her face in my hands.

Adam - And you, I won't let them hurt you. And if anyone else tries to,anyone not with them, not part of all of this, they will protect you just as fiercely as I will. As I said, I know its not ideal and I don't like it but staying here really is whats best for us. 

Kiara - But...

She stops short trying to this of what she wants to say.

Kiara - And that awful woman, she knows about us and she wants to keep us apart.

Adam - Goldie?

I use the old Weston Valley nickname for Hayley, though older then her we also grew up in the town and everyone knew of the spoiled rich golden haired little... of Hayley Thomas.

Adam - She's not so bad as she seems. I'd be more upset if she didn't want us apart, as it is, shes trying to protect you.

Kiara - Protect me, from you? That's insane.

Adam - No, she only seems me as the villain,because thats what I've been to her, she knows about us but she doesn't realize who you are,she thinks I'm just toying with you. I want to tell them.

Kiara - I thought you said it was better if they didn't know.

Adam - I thought it was but she'll let us be if she knows and as for the rest of them, your foster family made you hide your past, I saw how much it hurt you and I can't do the same. 

Chapter Twenty Two (Part 1)

(Unedited)

This chapter was so long I had to cut it .

(Adam's P.O.V.)

I told her I don't remember when my mother left, that I was maybe about two. That wasn't true. I was two and I remember very well. I remember everything,my whole life since that night. Everything that hasn't been literally beaten out of me. I have gaps from blacking out after being hit but that night isn't one of them. I had never seen it before that night, she wasn't wearing make-up to hide it and I saw the bruises as she picked me out of my crib.

Linda - I love you so much.

Whispering so he wouldn't hear her she held me close to her, silent tears running down her cheeks.

 Linda - I wish things were different. I'll come back for you... someday, my sweet boy.

I reached for her as she put me back. I wanted to cry out, but even then I knew not to. Even then I was smart enough to know she was leaving and to be afraid of what he would do if he caught her. I don't resent her for leaving. I only wish she had taken me with her. I know she wanted to, I could see it, but for what ever reason she couldn't. She said she'd come back for me, but she never did. I waited for years before realizing it wasn't going to happen, I wasn't going to see her. I don't know why she never came back, I tried to tell my self that it wasn't what I most feared, that he had found her,done something to her. 

Adam - I'm hungry.

John - You know where the kitchen is. You expect me to do everything for you?

Adam - You don't do anything for me.

John - DON'T TALK BACK TO ME! You don't know how lucky you are. I pay for your food, your school, keep a roof over your head. Now go do your homework.

Adam - B-b-but I already did it.

John - I JUST TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK BACK TO ME, YOU LITTLE BASTARD. 

Then he hit me again.

John - I wish you'd just disappear ,like your good for nothing mother. The whore, probably not even mine, sure as fuck don't look like me.

I thought about that for a while, I don't think that way about my mother, but still I wanted to believe the possibility that I wasn't his. 

I started volunteering at the hospital once I was old enough, anything to keep me out of the house, away from him. I was about to leave one day when one of the doctors told me he wanted to go talk to this girl down in pediatrics, he suspected abuse and thought she'd be more likely to open up to someone closer to her own age. I still wonder if he knew about my own situation. If he did, he never said so. Never did anything about it.

That was the day I met Kiara. 

A voice rouses me from my musings of the past.

"What are you thinking about?"

Adam - You.

Crossing the room I pull her into my arms.

Adam -  Always you, my Kiara.The day we met, actually.

Kiara - You remember that? 

Adam - You know I remember everything. Especially when it comes to you. 

I still don't know how I feel about her being here. I love her, love seeing her and holding her again, but then I see that thing on her neck. I can't stand keeping things from her but even she wouldn't forgive the things I've done. I don't want her to know how I've changed, what I've become, but I can't change who I am. Even if I could I'll never be who I used to. Yet, since her being here I know I'm already no longer as I've been either. I raise my hand and run a finger across her collar.

Adam - I hate this. I don't want this for you.

Kiara - Neither do I but at least we're together again.

Adam - You wouldn't go if you had the choice?

Kiara - Would you want me to?

Not knowing how to answer I change the subject.

Adam - Do you remember that evening, in the gazebo, back in Weston Valley? When we first got together?

Kiara - My fourteenth birthday.

Adam - I'm glad your here.

Kiara - I snuck off from the party. I wish you could have been there, but... you know how my dad is.

Adam - He wasn't drinking ?

Kiara - No. He doesn't drink when people are around. Why'd you want me to meet you here?

Adam - I wanted to see you, I like your dress, you look...

Kiara - Please don't say cute, I've had enough of everyone telling me how cute and adorable I look today.

Adam - I was going to say beautiful. You're beautiful Kiara.

Kiara - What?

Adam - I like you Kiara.

Kiara - What, what do you mean.You like me? I don't understand.

 Adam - This.

I pull Kiara close and kiss her as I remember that first time.

Adam - I still can't believe it's you! I thought I'd never see you again.

Kiara- I knew I'd find you someday, and I swore that when I did I wouldn't let anything come between us  ever again.

Adam - Turn around.

I massage her back and shoulders gently. I can only imagine how hard all of this is for her, shes always been a neat person but she never had to do this much. Not while I knew her. At least cleaning is all she's made to do.

I just want to hold her and protect her. I always have,even though in the past she had it better then me, and never hesitated to tell me so. That though, similar our situations were not the same, and I was the one who had it the worst. 

I saw that for my self one night. We had been out together and I walked her home. Her father appeared by the door as we kissed goodbye.

I was about to leave when I stopped, the bottle in his hand catching my sight. He raised it to take a drink as she ran to him. I wanted to stop her,to protect her but I was frozen.

I wasn't able to hear what they said as the talked for a moment.

The sound of flesh against flesh made me wince as he smacked her. She had told me, so I knew when I saw the bottle,I wasn't surprised, but still I had never seen it. He didn't drink in front of people,didn't hit her in front of people. He had started drinking after her mom died when she was ten,other then when she had had a broken arm when we met she'd said he'd only ever slapped her and always only once. His face softened as she held a hand to her cheek and he said something else. What surprised me was what came next.

He hugged her. That was the biggest difference between our fathers, he loved her. I spite of everything, he loved her.

She was taken from him within a week. The court ordered her father into rehab for his drinking and she was placed in a foster home. Her foster family seemed nice enough, they had money and gave her her own big room and new clothes and transferred her from Weston High to Weston Prep. Looking back though I realize the abused her too, not physically, be emotionally, physiologically, they tried to take away her past. 

 We would lay on the couch in her room, Kiara curled up to me, her head resting on my chest. She was always so miserable with them. It made me feel guilty.  I thought that she'd be with nice people and he would get help and would stop drinking and get her back and they would be happy and no one would ever hurt her again. But that's not how it happened. She didn't know and still doesn't, that it was my fault.